Third Time's the Charm
by swtwsw
Summary: If you could have another chance to start over you do it with someone you love. Oneshots that aren't in chronological order. D/B
1. A Bun in the Oven

AN: Hello! My name is Laura and I'm bored and Bamon deprived. Here is a one-shot in a series of one-shots; mini stories not in chronological order about Damon and Bonnie. Please enjoy!

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Damon descended down the stairs of the boarding house lazily after waking from his afternoon nap. He had been doing that much more frequently in the past three months than in the over-a-century life he had been living. Like clockwork, he would have to drag his eyelids back open with every blink at around 4:23 PM- the same time he had woken after his fall from grace.

Now well past 6, the house was quiet as usual. Nearly no one lived in it now seeing as how every supernatural entity would find its way there during their unwanted visits to Mystic Falls.

Damon had left too after some convincing from Stefan. "Better to live a coward, than die a fool," his brother had argued. "You're not just thinking about yourself anymore."

Now Damon only visited the mansion to make sure the estate was still in order, but he had left home late and crashed on his old king bed. Damon raised his arms high above his head, the taut muscles of his back and arms flexing underneath his skin. A low gurgle erupted from his stomach just as he turned the corner into the kitchen, sliding on his flannel shirt.

"Mrs. Salvatore," he drawled to the woman in front of the stove who was not so much cooking as staring into the flames that made whatever delicious recipe inside the pots simmer. He moseyed up to her and embraced her from behind, craning his head down to kiss her on the ear, the cheek, the- wait.

He detached himself to swoop Bonnie off her feet and plant her on the island. He stepped in between her legs and pressed his body flush against her, wishing the romper she was wearing was sheer chiffon instead of a woodland green cotton with tiny yellow and orange flowers dotting the fabric.

No matter what was separating his gloriously hot bod from her exquisitely buttery smooth skin that was like salted caramel on his tongue didn't matter, as long as he could capture her uncharacteristically downturned lips.

Another detail that was no matter because he had the power to turn that frown upside down or- if something was really bothering her- into a cute pout at the least.

Damon cupped the round of her waist and held a side of her heart shaped face in the palm of his hand, tracing the outline of her ear with his middle finger, the titanium wedding band around his ring finger warming slightly.

He could feel the corner of his eyes crinkling as he began to smile. Her frown lessened a little just staring at each other- Damon's curious expression distracting her before his lips distracted her even more- and she unconsciously held onto his wrist.

Good, Damon thought, because he was about to kiss the shit out of her.

The home cooked meal whispered in the background as Damon leaned in slowly- so slowly that their breaths tangled in the space between them like the beginning of a storm. He watched her eyes fall to his mouth, and she lifted hers to be met with air.

Damon set a kiss underneath her eye. Her eyelashes fluttered underneath his nose then settled. He planted another on her other cheek, then on the angle of her jaw that didn't match the right side, the spot where her smile lines would appear, her lips, her lips, her lips; three kisses, each one longer than the last, until he blanketed her bottom lip.

He tilted his head and cradled her neck with both hands as the kiss went on. Bonnie straightened to push into the kiss, and held onto his waist. Damon glided his tongue across her bottom lip and bit down gently, parting Bonnie's lips enough for their tongues to greet.

Their mouths grew wetter and wider and breath hotter and faster until Bonnie was wrinkling Damon's flannel in her fist. They teetered on the edge of erotica before Damon drew them back by withdrawing his tongue and soon after shortening kisses.

He kissed her lips one last time before using the tip of his nose to nuzzle a path to her forehead and place a kiss there too. Bonnie rested their foreheads together by wrapping her arms around Damon's neck, and when he finally opened his eyes, he saw the the undeniable curve of a smile.

"Mr. Salvatore," Bonnie finally breathed. She broke apart from him and added, "…and baby Salvatore."

"Baby Salvatore? Is Stefan here?"

"No, dumbass," she said rolling her eyes, but chuckling all the same. She looked down just as her hand reached her belly, rubbing softly. "Baby Salvatore is in here."

Damon's eyes widened as he stared at her hand gently turning on her abdomen. When he looked up, she was staring at him, waiting for his reaction, waiting to see if this was to be a blessing, or a curse.

"You're pregnant?" he asked quietly to be sure, to which she silently nodded, nibbling her lip nervously.

Dinner sizzled on the stove; the mouth watering smell that filled the entire kitchen bringing him back down from the clouds, but he could still catch his wife's delicate pumpkin spice scent and- did she use his shaving cream this morning?

Damon gazed disbelievingly at her stomach and then covered her hand with his.

"Baby Salvatore…" He brought his eyes up again, and his smirk spread into a smile lighting across his face. "Mama Salvatore."

Bonnie's eyes glittered and her lips broke apart to grace Damon with one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen on her face, like the sun breaking through rainclouds that were thought to never go away.

"Papa Salvatore," she murmured and let Damon kiss her again.


	2. An Indecent Proposal

**A/N: Hi again! Thanks for the reviews! I think we all needed some sappy Bamon in our lives; there's been a serious drought. I just want to imagine them in their happy home cuddling by the fire :')**

 **BUT no pain, no gain, right? Right? No Bamon this chapter.**

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This, Bonnie thought, was not going to end well.

Wind slipped in the Lockwood cages through cracks in the stone walls creating the quiet whistle of buried secrets and unknown truths. Her focus shifted to her surroundings; though the room was dimly lit, Bonnie could still make out the claw marks in the rocks.

"What other options do you have?" Klaus queried, as if reading her mind. Or maybe just her face. She had never been much good at lying, or poker.

Klaus, on the other hand, was a sociopathic master at it. Always talking his way out of his death at the cost of whoever wasn't lucky enough to run away. He could never be trusted. No matter who he said he was or what face he wore, the voice that wasn't his spoke nothing but lies.

She glared into the dark brown eyes of Tyler Lockwood. There was a noticeable dullness that spoke levels of the shallowness of Klaus's soul and depravity in his metaphorical heart; even the shadows of his eyes could not hide his deceit.

She had saved Klaus and, more than likely, all of her friends. Klaus had taught her the spell. It wasn't simple. It wasn't easy. But more importantly it didn't hurt; there were no nosebleeds or headaches or fainting spells.

 _And_ it had worked.

The rush of magic that somehow flowed into her and rushed out shocked her enough to curl her toes inside her boots. It took everything to keep herself from stumbling out of the storage unit with shaking legs after she transferred Klaus's consciousness to Tyler's body. Luckily, Damon let her leave unquestioned.

Klaus shifted to lean against a wall, his prim-and-proper, Norman Bates nimbleness appearing out of place on Tyler's thicker frame. "Do you remember Greta?"

"Luka's runaway sister? I remember Damon killing her."

He scowled slightly. "A grievance gone without repayment."

"Literally everything else you've done hasn't been enough?" Bonnie folded her arms to hide her balled fists.

Klaus chuckled darkly. Bonnie assumed the debt was settled for the time being. "Greta was something of a supreme in her witchcraft. She learned how to bend magic to her control. She wasn't a slave to the spirits."

Bonnie's lip curled. "No, just to you."

Klaus pushed off of the wall and took a step toward Bonnie. His footstep echoed off the walls of the hidden room. "Greta was with me by choice. One that you'll soon make. You're kindred spirits."

"I doubt that," Bonnie assured.

"You know nothing about her-"

"No, just that was see was some crazy bitch who abandoned her family to help you kill whoever you wanted." Tyler's eyes flashed wide with anger, but didn't deter Bonnie from taking a step forward in defiance. "Either she loved you or she was power hungry; either one made her dangerous and stupid."

Klaus was silent for a moment. His scowl ripened into a devious smile. "I don't deny that she was...bloodthirsty, but I see many of the traits I saw in her, in you."

Bonnie scoffed, brow furrowing. "How can I change that?"

"Innate instinct," Klaus boasted. He took another step to Bonnie. Now there was only two feet between them. "Fury beneath an unassuming beauty. Unimaginable power...with proper guidance."

She shook her head, "There's nothing I want to learn from you."

He took another step. One foot. "Not how to blot an entire city of existence or control the cosmos?"

"Try harder much?"

He leaned in close and whispered, "Not even how to turn a vampire into a human?"

A light in Bonnie's mind turned on. The devil always knew how to grab a person's attention.

Klaus silenced her before she could feign disinterest. "If Elena had wanted to be a vampire so many others would still be alive. Don't deny she doesn't want it. Don't deny that you don't want to give it to her."

Klaus stood straight again and repeated his offer, "The cure for vampirism for Elena and any of your other friends who wish to take it...the might of a billion blazing suns at your leisure, at your disposal...is that not worth the price?"

The muscles in Bonnie's jaw flexed tightly. "You're a good salesman, Klaus, but with you the price always ends over budget. If there is a cure, we'll find it ourselves. I'll make my power my own by myself. I don't need you."

Klaus sighed dramatically. "You're mistaken, Bonnie. I need you."

For a millionth of a second Tyler's body went slack before snapping back straight. His eyes rolled in his head three times and then he was back. Tyler came back. The light of humanity shining in his eyes brightened by the disorienting drop back into consciousness.

"Bonnie? What the-?" Tyler steadied himself with a deep breath. "Is he gone? Did you find a way to fix it?"

Bonnie had been wrong. The cure for vampirism wasn't the reward for following orders- it was Tyler. It wasn't unexpected and yet still stung. "Not yet, but I will soon Tyler. I promise."

Tyler nodded in acceptance but squared his shoulders against the bad news. "How long...do you think?" he asked hesitantly.

"He won't leave your body willingly," Bonnie guessed. But Bonnie knew.

His shoulders sagged almost unnoticeably. "What does he want?" he asked.

"Me," Bonnie answered.

Tyler spasmed again and the light in his eyes vanished. Klaus stepped forward slowly. "I'm not leaving this body unless you agree, and you can't eject me without force which, if you couldn't guess, you do not have. So you see...it's Tyler who needs you."


	3. Zone 97

**No reviews? I need to change the summary of the story. Some Bamon. Hint of Stelena. A plot thickens.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Damon grabbed a nearby blood-stained sword when heavy knocks resounded from the ceiling. He waited, perched behind the pale door vibrating with magic in the dim safe house basement.

Noel, a 54 year old vampire from Haiti, knelt on the right side of the door ready for whatever was soon to come through it. Damon counted the seconds and the rushing footsteps of the oncoming intruders.

The door knob spun, Damon clenched the hilt of the ancient sword, and Noel protruded fangs. Freddie, another witch who settled in America from Haiti in the 80's, phased into the room followed by four or five other people, Matt carrying Bonnie, and then another-

Damon tossed the sword over to Noel and fell in line with Matt. Bonnie hung unconsciously from his bruised and burned arms. The blood that Damon had become so accustomed to that he could trace it in a bomb blast trailed from her nose and skull. She was breathing, but barely.

"What happened?" Damon asked, overshooting Matt and pushing Harry, second squadron's commanding witch, out of the way of the way of the staircase door. Damon swung it open and followed Matt down the hastily made stairs to third floor.

They passed a series of graves packed with the bones of strangers in the walls; it was amazing how many dead body remnants one could stumble upon when making an underground insurgent camp. Bonnie's limp foot dragged across the dirt wall like it was marking the way back up.

They reached another door and they slipped right through what should have been solid wood into a wide circular room fitted with hospital equipment and brightly lit by a million floating candles.

"Mission report!" Damon demanded as Matt settled Bonnie on a waiting bed. He rolled her to the side and Stefan appeared at the foot of the bed with Elena and two other women several seconds behind. The newcomers wasted no time hesitating to help the witch.

"Matt, Damon, step back please," Stefan ordered. He dipped his right hand into a blue, glittering gel and made like he was sliding on latex gloves; his hands glowed softly instead of the jerking snap of rubber.

Damon avoided the deepest cuts in Matt's bicep as he pulled him aside. Stefan quickly followed the trail of blood and then pulled back Bonnie's lids to check for a response with a flashlight pen.

"Get Sibyne here now," Stefan said calmly into the blue quartz crystal pinned onto the collar of his browned button up. Damon's pulse spiked, the calmer Stefan was, the worse the damage was.

Half of the party that Damon had not bothered to see come in finally made it downstairs. Elena stayed, and the two women went to help those in need. The room became crowded as more came to help.

Elena dipped her hands into the gel and used surgical scissors to cut through the bloodied jeans from Bonnie's leg; the bone of the bottom her calf poked through shredded skin. Damon lost the erratic thrum of Bonnie's heartbeat just as a burly woman as dark as his favorite bourbon skidded to Bonnie's bedside.

"Everybody out!" she shouted to Damon and Matt; the two were pushed back by an invisible force and Sibyne Bennett flicked her wrist to magically pull a curtain around the area around Bonnie's bed.

All around them haggard hunters, werewolves, vampires, and witches alike were pushed out of the radius of soldiers' beds and curtains close.

Damon made Matt face him. "I said mission report."

"After scoping out Zone 97 of the parish we infiltrated at 1700," Matt started.

"I thought the plan was to wait for m- Delta unit?" Damon queried.

"Overruled," Matt answered. "We split into four groups- standard line- and were to rendezvous in the inner sanctum."

"What went wrong?"

Matt shrugged almost too stiff to see. "I don't know...a trap was triggered...Bonnie managed to save half of us before the blast blew her back to us."

"A billionth of a second…" someone in the crowd said. Damon studied the soldier. They must have recruited new members while he was gone.

Damon cleared his throat and said, "Unit Mike you head upstairs. Bravo and what's left of Whiskey you head down. Get patched up and get some rest."

A chorus of, "Permission to stay as support, general!", echoed throughout the room, but Damon denied them.

"Negative, soldiers. We never know when we might be attacked, so we have to stay ready. See to your wounds and _get ready_."

A meager grumbling swept through the rest of the crowd, but the men and women followed their orders.

"You too, Donovan," Damon said quietly.

They exchanged stiff nods and Matt wandered away, hopefully to have someone look at him for serious injuries.

"Delta unit check our perimeter and reinforce defenses." Damon waited outside of Bonnie's curtain, watching as other patients that were brought in walked away fully healed. The makeshift emergency room began to clear out until it was only Bonnie left.

Elena pulled back the curtain. Fly away strands of hair from her high ponytail stuck to her damp forehead and the oversized, frayed gray sweater she wore was sticky with blood.

Damon stood at the end of the bed. "How is she?"

"It was a close call," Stefan sighed. He smeared blood across his forehead in an effort to wipe away sweat. "We lost her for a minute there."

"Let me see if there's anyone else to treat," Sibyne murmured. With one crisis averted, she returned to the fifth floor to check on the others.

"She was treated with V103 but she should still stay off of her feet for at least a day. The break in her leg is set, but not fully healed," Elena informed Damon. "Take care of her while I'm gone. I'll be back after checking on Matt's unit."

He nodded and the two left hand in hand. Damon walked around the bed and sat on the left of Bonnie's bed. One of them had cleaned most of the dirt, blood, and ash off of her face and now Damon could see healing third degree burns and cuts that were already scabbing over.

He gently pushed the the bangs of her pageboy haircut away to see the thin bandage wrapped around her crown. Bonnie shifted and slowly managed to open her eyes. An unhurried smile graced Damon.

"Damon. You're back. Oh no, a hospital gown." She angled her elbow and tried to sit up.

Damon pushed her back down. "Don't try to get up."

She frowned. "But I want a hug."

Damon scoffed but Bonnie looked at him innocently. He bit the inside of his lip and furrowed his brow, but Bonnie smiled and he was a sucker. He carefully lifted Bonnie.

Her head rested in the crook of his left shoulder, and the hair that lost the stiffness of homemade gel tickled his chin and cheek just as the smell of caked blood tickled Damon's nose. He rubbed circles on her back with the hand wrapped around her and held Bonnie's healed left hand with his right hand.

"We were worried about you," she said quietly.

"So you take Lima unit before I make it back?"

"Nearly a week late. We put it to a vote and the original plan was overruled," Bonnie explained.

"And you almost died because of it. They had to use vampicillin, so don't go getting any fatal gunshot wounds anytime soon."

She groaned. "You're still calling it that?"

"Believe it or not, it's catching on."

She groaned again. "Mission report?" she asked, changing the subject.

"The artifact was retrieved with no casualties on our side. We got back here around 1900."

Bonnie nodded and fell silent. A moment passed before either spoke again.

"Bravo, Mike, Lima, and Whiskey headed out 1700. We were to rendezvous in the inner sanctum. I'm not sure what happened...Lima must not have cleared all the traps. Matt and his team got there first, then me, and then Warner and Laurie. I felt the trigger go off and then..."

"Lima unit didn't make it and ¾ of Whiskey went with them," Damon finished.

She punched the space on the bed behind Damon. "...Dammit," Bonnie cursed.

"Everyone else is here. Stefan, Elena, and Sibyne are leading medical- what do you think you're doing?" He stopped her from moving off the bed.

She struggled to free herself from his hold. "Quick perimeter check."

Damon glared at her. "You're off your feet for the next couple of days."

"Even with V103?" she asked incredulously.

"That's what I was told."

Bonnie sighed and picked at the bandage across the right side of her temple. "We were just blown up because I let myself be convinced _I_ didn't have to sweep for traps...and the witches will still be looking for us."

Damon shook his head, "Delta is on it."

Bonnie huffed. "You and I can just double check," she implored.

"So you can be carried around?"

"Ew, no," Bonnie said. "So I can channel you."

He rolled his eyes ."Am I just a tool to you?"

"Which type of tool?"

Damon hopped off the bed with the vampire speed and swept Bonnie up before she could fall forward. She squeaked indignantly as she free fell slightly into Damon's arms.

Damon smiled sympathetically. "Doctor's orders, Bon Bon."


	4. Playing Hookie

**Bamon ahoy!**

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Bonnie jammed her grimoires into her leather messenger bag with more force than necessary. "He's always calling me "love" and standing too close to me. It's like he's never heard of personal space," she ranted to Damon.

She dropped the bag on the hardwood floor of her living room and pulled a quilted jacket over baggy, black felt overalls and a maroon, long sleeve crop top. Once upon a time she would have thought Damon's monochromatic jeans and shirt would look out of place against the deep and earthy yellow of her home, but now- somehow he blended right in.

"And Kol," Bonnie continued. "Kol isn't much better. He talks on and on about whatever is on his mind- and I have to listen to all of it because somewhere in his hour long monologue is a sliver of information that ends up being crucial to a spell."

She yanked the zipper of her messenger bag closed and picked her mug from the coffee table. Bonnie and Damon drank their coffee at the same time. "I haven't slept in days," she whined.

She took another drink and closed her eyes. She didn't notice Damon abandon the wall to cross the living room to her. Bonnie gulped awkwardly when Damon pulled her cup away mid sip and made black coffee dribble down her chin. "Hey!"

He smirked devilishly. "Ditch your classes today."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes. "You don't think there could be some unfortunate repercussions?"

"Tell them you're mentally blocked and need a self-care day. Which one will take it easier?"

Bonnie regarded him suspiciously, but a conspiratorial quirk in the corner of her mouth shaped her lips.

They ended up at a carnival. They had driven over state lines to find it, cellphones ringers turned off, music blasting. Damon dodged the line of patrons and led Bonnie to the empty handicapped lane. The ticket booth operator eyed them. "This is the handicapped lane."

"Should I pull out my disability card?" Damon asked. He elbowed Bonnie's arm. "Can you believe this guy?" He squinted at the rainbow name card attached to his shirt. "Ethan," he said snippily.

Ethan sighed loudly. "Whatever. Entry is $10, unlimited games and rides cost $25, or every 5 tickets costs $5."

Damon stared deeply into Ethan's eyes, hypnotizing him. "How about unlimited games and rides for free?"

Bonnie jabbed Damon's shoulder. "Damon."

"What?"

"Don't be a cheapskate."

He glared at the witch. "Are you the one paying for everything?"

Bonnie pushed past Damon and pulled $65 from her pocket. "You're paying for the food in there."

Ethan gave Bonnie her change and put a wristlet on their wrists. "Enjoy your day."

"Let's go ride Zero Gravity!" Bonnie cheered.

She grabbed Damon's hand and pulled him through the smiling clown gates and straight to the cylindrical ride. After the dizzying experience, Damon was dragged to the Gravitron; the two of them wowed the other riders as they fought the force of gravity and flipped over the strangers. Next was Damon's pick of bumper cars.

"Whoever hits the most bumper cars- it can't be the same person twice in a row- doesn't have to pay for the chili cheese fries I'm craving."

"Deal." They shook on it. Bonnie hopped into the car with a golden bird and Damon chose a roaring tiger. He was the one who ordered and paid for his chili cheese fries and Bonnie ordered a slice of pizza and a dark cherry smoothie.

On the way to the ferris wheel they passed a vendor making cotton candy flowers. Bonnie stopped to watch and even recorded the fantastic performance on her phone. Damon paid for the large stick with no complaints.

No matter the ride, Bonnie screamed as loud as she could and always left laughing. She avoided bumping into anyone in the crowd with ease and somehow always managed to get the front row of the roller coasters. Nine selfies out of ten had Bonnie stretching her arms out to catch Damon or pulling him by the collar of his shirt to bring him down.

"Everyone is going to know you forced me to take these."

"I can crop my hand out," she said dismissively. She gasped excitedly. "The swings!"

They rode all of the rides and rode half of them a second time, went through the fun house, played all of the games, managed to win a bag of prizes- and to Bonnie's overzealous pleasure- even a giant koala bear.

By the time they got back to Mystic Falls it was past 1 in the morning. Damon helped Bonnie carry in her prizes and dumped them on the living room floor. He met her in the brick stone kitchen.

Bonnie sighed contentedly as she grabbed two water bottles from the fridge; she threw one over to Damon. "The last carnival I went to was that awful one junior year. Remember it? Caroline came after Katherine snuffed her- it had turned into such a nightmare. God, it seems like forever ago…"

She unscrewed the cap of her water distractedly. "I had forgotten how much I love carnivals."

The bottle that was poised under her chin went to her mouth, and she drank while she reminisced the not-so-good ol' days in her head. She snapped herself out of her reverie after finishing almost half of the bottle and recapped it. She flicked a drop of water hanging off her bottom lip, looked at Damon, and smiled.

It was genuine and warm. There was no animosity, no blame, no contempt for his actions that night he tried to kill Caroline and Bonnie had set him on fire. No restored aggression for the mistakes he used to make. Probably not what he was expecting. Maybe that's what compelled him to stride into the small kitchen to her.

She watched him, her smile faltering when he brought a hand up to cradle her neck with the tips of his fingers, barely touching her. He didn't think about the consequences, he never did. His face angled to the side and, instinctively- she told herself it was instincts- hers crooked the other way and up.

Their lips were sweet like the cotton candy they had enjoyed earlier and just like the pastel wisps of feathery sugar had melted on her tongue, so did he. Bonnie's lips cradled air and his lips grazed hers for the last time, leaving them painfully blistered and overwhelmingly cold.

"Good night, Bon Bon," Damon husked before disappearing into the night.

That one small moment where he met her for the very first time in a way that he never had before reverberated through her as one hand laid on the chilling countertop and the other hovering a centimeter from her lips, measuring the electricity Damon had transferred to her.


	5. Wet Socks

**One more review! Thank you kind reviewer. Bamon.**

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"Why do you have to do that?" Bonnie snapped at Damon. She jerked her arm out of his hold before he could pull her back onto the scanty riverbank. The muddy water dripped off of the curling tendrils of her hair and stained her clothes.

"Do what?" he asked, offering his hand to her. She ignored it, opting for adjusting her drenched white top instead.

"Ruin any chance of having a relationship with someone who isn't a sociopath."

Damon looked at her as if he were shocked, but a lewd smile appeared. "Relationship? Bonnie, I'm just trying to have a good time, I'm not looking for any commitments."

"Right," Bonnie huffed. "That's why you were going to leave Mystic Falls."

She slid on sludge when she pushed past Damon to flee the river water. He followed behind her as she trudged back through the forest to Damon's waiting Camaro. Their footsteps through the soft leaves echoed through the trees.

He fell in line with her easily despite her furious attempt to walk quickly and without him. "Is that sarcasm?"

She glared at him openly. "No, honestly."

Damon's head quirked to the side, his lips pursing dangerously. "Since you only think you know what you're talking about she must have told you- Elena chose Stefan. Fat lot of good that did her seeing as how she's a vampire now."

"But Matt would have been dead."

"No skin off my nose."

Bonnie stopped walking abruptly to stare incredulously at Damon. She shook her head in disbelief at her sullied expectations before wiping more dirty water off of her face. "And that's why she chose Stefan. You're selfish. You don't think of anyone beyond what they do for you."

"I'm here with you, listening to you berate me like a child. That's not selfish," he argued indignantly.

Bonnie folded her arms. "You're here because Elena asked you, aren't you?"

Damon stared at her. "Not seeing the selfishness yet."

"Otherwise you would have lt Jeremy come instead of taking his place, right?"

"If you would wanted to babysit him you should have just said so."

Bonnie started walking again. "In the end it doesn't matter if we live or die. He's useless to you because he's human, and I'm expendable as a witch. But for Elena, because you think you have another chance-"

He flashed in front of her and she barrelled into him, getting his black v-neck wet. "For me to believe that would be pretty stupid."

She took a giant step back from him. "Then why are you still here?"

He took a moment to study her, boot tapping on a crooked stick. "You'd miss me too much."

Bonnie shook her head again. "No one is going to miss you, Damon. Not me, not Caroline, not even Elena or Stefan. No one. Being a dick and playing the hero won't get you the girl, and it doesn't make friends."

"Are you telling me you wish we could be friends?" Damon joked without the usual facetious energy.

Bonnie smiled sadly and Damon stared back with veiled emotion she could not describe. "We could never be friends."

The foot tapping stopped. "Why not?"

Bonnie sighed tiredly. "Because you insist on trying not to care...and that can't be how it works." She stepped around Damon to slop to the car in her soggy shoes with Damon trailing behind.


	6. Bath Time

**Hiya! Thanks** bellavida0213 **for the reviews! Let's jump to the future for a chapter. Bamony.**

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Damon hummed some song that sounded something like smooth jazz to Bonnie's ears as she relaxed against him in their large drawn tub that big enough to fit both of them comfortably.

The sound reverberated from his chest through her back and cradled her chest as he rubbed wide circles onto her pregnant belly, dipping his hand into the warm water that wasn't high enough to cover her giant stomach every so often.

It had been a particularly hard day for Bonnie. The renters of her childhood home had somehow backed up all the pipes while the two soon-to-be-parents were painting the nursery.

They had thought the tenants would be more polite to a pregnant woman, but boy were they wrong and Bonnie ended up blowing up a toilet in her hormone crazed rage.

"Seems like you're vampire enough for the both of us," Damon joked when she came home crying.

They hugged in the foyer long enough for their paint splatter clothes to stick together.

Damon called the tenants and told them to find somewhere else to stay while the house was fixed, and they wouldn't have to pray rent then promptly hung up before they could reply.

After, he drew them a bath sprinkled with flowers like angelica and surrounded by incense like allspice. It was exactly what Bonnie needed; she couldn't believe she was going to eat a tub of Spectacular Speculoos ice cream instead...but she did bring a bowl of it with her. They polished it off within the first ten minutes of the now hour and three minute bath.

The house phone rang.

"Dad calling," the Google Home announced.

Bonnie peeked an eye open and closed it gingerly. "Answer," she said.

Damon continued to hum, albeit quietly as Bonnie called out, "Hi, daddy."

"Hey, sweetie," her father answered. "How are you feeling?"

Damon kissed her neck and she hummed appreciatively. "Much, much better now."

"What did you do today?"

"Damon and I painted the nursery," she retold.

"What color?"

"Like a shimmery yellow, but it's not too bright."

Rudy questioned after a silent beat, "Should you be painting?"

"It's non-toxic. And I wore a mask."

"What else did you do?"

"Fought with the Harpers," Bonnie finally confessed.

"Who's fault was it?"

The fact that he even asked... "Theirs."

"Nobody died, right?"

Damon chuckled and kissed Bonnie's ear.

"Just the guest bathroom toilet."

"And where is your husband?"

Damon lifted up his rubbing hand and said loudly, "Right behind her!"

"I hope that's not a sexual joke…"

"No- er,- not at all…" Damon stuttered as he tried not to laugh.

Bonnie gasped when the baby kicked.

"Bonnie…"

"It's not daddy, I promise. We got to go- I have pregnant lady things to do."

"Next time just don't answer the phone."

"Bye, daddy, love you!"

Damon laughed until Bonnie positioned his hand on the left side of her belly and-

 _Thud_.

His laugh caught in his throat as another thud bumped his hand.

"Is that a kick?" he asked breathlessly.

Bonnie nodded excitedly. "First kicks!"

He kissed her smiling lips and then they settled back in their original position. Damon dipped his hand into the bath water and started rubbing her belly again. A few moments passed before his hand halted.

"Can we get out now?"


	7. Which Witch

**Hey! Thank you for the reviews.**

 **Alexa: tbh I have completely given up on show Bamon. I let myself be baited back for Bamon knowing full well it was bait and they proved me right! Oh well I guess we still have fanfiction that's better than the show, right?**

 **This is plotty with no Bamon, but a peak of Kol/Bonnie.**

* * *

"So Miss Bennett…"

Bonnie looked up from the age old grimoire she studied in the morning light of Klaus's study. Kol languidly made his way through the overarching door frames that were too extravagant to be in Mystic Falls.

It had been months of rigorous studying and training that often left Bonnie sick with exhaustion. She was too proud to ever ask for a day off and if Kol wasn't willing to gift her a weekend off she always sucked it up because without Kol, Klaus would still be in Tyler's body.

The youngest of the Mikaelsons shoved a stack of grimoires to the floor so he could sit within an inch of Bonnie, sliding an arm behind her and curling a lock of her hair around his finger.

"After all this time and I still don't know why my brother has me working you to the bone while he's off- what is he off doing?" he queried.

Bonnie turned a page with practiced patience. "You expect me to know when you don't?"

"I think you know a lot more than you let on, Bon Bon."

"Please don't call me that," she said politely.

His finger stopped curling. "But Damon does."

Bonnie blinked owlishly at the blurred sentences scribbled across animal hide. "I keep telling him to stop, but he doesn't listen to me either."

Kol sighed dramatically before lightly pressing the curl on his finger to his lips and plucked the book from her poorly manicured hands. "At least you asked me politely, Pherepapha."

Bonnie reached for the book shyly. "Kol, please, Klaus wants me to learn this spell by the 22nd."

He kept the grimoire far above and behind his head "If it were so important he would be here to help."

She sighed loudly and let him keep it. "I prefer that he's not."

"You like me better?" He dazzled her with a devilish smile. Bonnie gave up on trying to study altogether and gave Kol her full attention as she always did.

"Yes, I like you better. As long as you're not mindlessly killing anyone."

"Your dear Hades has made sure that I don't. Now tell me, Bon Bon, why is Klaus having you primed so vigorously?" Kol asked again.

Bonnie shrugged distractedly as she watched glimmers of dust float through the streaming sunlight around Kol's perfectly disheveled hair; different strands shone with hues of blondes reds, and auburns, just like his eyelashes and eyes.

"Something about a cure for vampirism."

"There isn't one."

"That's not what he said." Not like she particularly believed him- or had a choice.

"The only cure I've ever heard rumors about was…" Kol let his thoughts run wild in his mind as Bonnie waited patiently. He often did this before dumping a large load of information on her, but this time he narrowed his eyes at her like she was the one master planning and asked tensely, "Before I Niklaus snagged me off of my balcony in Dubai, what did he have you learning?"

Bonnie pulled out her mini journal specifically for such occasions. Various dates for the past half a year chronicled subjects of interest.

"Counter-spells, de-spelling blood, de-spelling barriers," Bonnie listed. "Mark of the Hunter, immortality-"

"Did he have you study anyone specific?" Kol interrupted.

"Actually that reminds me of someone I was really interested in while I was looking things up- who's Qetsiyah?"

"Qetsiyah," Kol repeated.

"I found an old note in my grandmother's things. Something about a-"

Kol got up and was out the door before Bonnie could finish. "Kol!" She yelled after him.

The front door slammed shut and Bonnie ran to the foyer. Kol strangled Klaus against the double front doors, eyes framed by scarlet veins.

Bonnie hesitated forward. "What's going on?"

"Tell her, brother," Kol growled. "Tell her how you're planning on using her to end the world."


End file.
